Email 1st April 1999

Time: 01:20
Subject: Fish 99 - Waters!!

Dear Fishheads, Freaks, fans and the Company
As some of you may have noticed Roger Waters is touring the USA this Summer! The US tour we have been talking about in June/July is now on and as we couldn't discuss this till it was confirmed we can now officially say that the tour is not only on with Roger but that I will be the featured singer on his set as well as Steve Wilson playing lead.
Wes will be the second guitarist playing mainly acoustic.
I think that this is a brilliant venture and I hope you'll be supporting this with the seriousness it deserves.
More news later today as the reality sinks in!!

all the best lots of love
Onkel Fish x

Time: 13:02
Subject: Fish 99 - The Pros and Cons of April Fools day!!

Dear Fishheads, Freaks, fans and the Company,
I'm sorry but couldn't resist that one!!! :-))
I was having a crap night. Scotland just went down to Czechoslovakia 2-1 at home and effectively our European Championship dream is dead! Typical, we play great for 20 odd minutes and then score an own goal and 10 minutes later an ex-Hearts player falls asleep on the pitch and we go in 2 down at half-time.
In typical fashion we score 20 minutes from the end and spend the rest of the game sweating for a draw! It's shite being Scottish! :-)
To add to the nights tally of woe I went to the downstairs toilet after shooting up some Unreal denizens for a while with a large cognac at my side. I noticed a drip of water from the ceiling and offered my index finger to the bulge overhead! You know the punchline! The small hole soon became a big hole and the recently decorated toilet became a very dark wet cave sculpted from plaster which rained down from the ceiling!! Bugger!!
So there I was pissed on cognac ripping up floorboards and dragging debris out of the roof cavities as I went in search of the leak. I found it, shut off the water and went to bed waking seemingly immediately to a very unhappy wife!!
The plumbers been and gone and the debris is cleared. Just got the redecoration now!
Thank God I bought her flowers yesterday - what you might call pre-emptive brownie points!!
So there! You got off lightly!!

To close -
Metal Hammer gave RWZ 10/10, I'm at the Hard Rock Edinburgh on Tuesday for a radio Forth live interview at 3pm (a girl band called Honey are also miming their "hit"! :-), the on line chat on the 29th April looks like being moved to a dual set up on the 2nd May between Talk City and the Artist Shop at 3pm EST (8 pm UK, 9pm CET) and the RWZ booklets arrive from Austria on Tuesday which means that the cd's will be shipped next week!

So that's it for now! Keep phoning in requests to radio as the dice roll on the single in the UK on Monday. I'm trying not to get excited and get my hopes up. Feels like I've been here before!!
lots of love
Onkel Fish xx

Ps Anne Diamond is alright - just get the nice schoolteacher in stockings picture!! :-)))
Ooooohhhh you naughty boy!!! :-))
Not the cane Ma'am!!
I'll stop now!

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