Email April 3rd 2006

Subject: Re: [FishFans] Semi-Final - the dream

Hi Guys,

I had a terrible dream over the weekend that my beloved Hibees got gubbed in the Scottish Cup Semi Final 4-0!
It was so vivid and real! I could even taste the mince pie and smell the Bovril at half time! My knees even were in seemingly real pain as I trudged all the way from Rutherglen high street to the ground and back with my girlfriend. It all went a bit strange when I saw 4 solitary magpies one after the other and then two pairs, again separately combining to make the number 4.
I didn't recognise the Hibs team on the day; no star striker and in fact the only current first team striker that did play would later turn from hero and talisman into a complete arse and get sent off! We had three of our best mid field players missing as well as the two other strikers and played a 23 year old Moroccan up front in his first ever game for the club. It was truly surreal.
Hearts turned into big horrible monsters and kicked our kids about while the referee waved his arms a lot and then Satan and three other horsemen of the apocalypse swept down the field after we gave them the ball and scored a goal.
It all started to go a bit blurry then. Our goalkeeper turned into a clown and most of the Hibs team started to fall apart after Satan scored at the near post from a free kick. I wanted to go but stayed until the Polish clown gave away another goal and the big mass of maroon and white people started to shout too much and it hurt my head!
That was when the medical people took me away to where the bright lights stopped shining.

I feel ok this morning but have these terrible flashbacks where everything goes wobbly and satan is grinning and running past me in a Hearts strip with his arms in the air and shouting "up yez!!"

Anyway must go down the shops and buy a paper. For some reason I managed to sleep through the entire weekend and missed all the footy results. Maybe it had something to do with all the pills that the nice Doctor Findlay is giving me these days!

Doctor Findlay says I should stop typing now

Fish x-(

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