Fish 2007- "And then it was over"
Dear Fishheads, Freaks fans and the Company,
On Saturday 26th May, two days after invitations were sent out and ten weeks before the event Heather Findlay announced that she no longer wished to marry me and as such the wedding is now cancelled. She packed that night, left on Sunday and her belongings were moved out of the studio less than 48 hours later with no possible chance of reconciliation.
I had been concerned in recent weeks as to her commitment but had put it down to pre wedding nerves and the surrounding stress of arranging a wedding and living in a studio where an album was underway with all it's attendant intrusion into our domestic situation. She found my hectic lifestyle and work schedule difficult to handle and was missing friends and family in York and seemed generally unhappy. A rolling sequence of arguments and confrontations accentuated by pre nuptial and other arrangements had made me hesitant about sending out the invites and we had an openhearted discussion on her return from a week away from the studio playing shows and visiting friends. I felt reassured by her answers, the invites were sent, but the arguments continued, reaching a peak on Saturday and culminating in her decision to cancel the wedding. I was shocked and angry at her announcement and especially with the timing which could not have come at a worse stage with all the principal arrangements and organisation already in place.
I feel acutely embarrassed and deeply hurt but as with my friends and family I also have a sense of relief as it would have been a more traumatic experience dealing with a divorce and it's consequences as the marriage was obviously flawed.
I am trying to be positive and focus my energies into the album and my workload which now involves de constructing a wedding for 250 guests and clearing up the financial mess which I was covering.
I know this will come as a shock to most of you after my obvious commitment to the relationship and my willingness to start a new family but it's now apparent that the reality of the marriage didn't appeal to Heather.
Obviously this means that Odin Dragonfly will not be supporting me on tour and that Heather will not be taking part in my new album. I feel badly for Angela Gordon as I know she was looking forward to working with my band and once again she has been let down by events out with her control.
Chris Johnson, my new guitarist, who also works with "Mostly Autumn", phoned me on Tuesday to assure me he was still committed to playing with us and Gavin Griffiths will be drumming for that band next week as he has completed his work on the backing tracks on the new album. Gavin has put in some great performances and has really made his mark on "13th Star". He is back with us permanently in July for rehearsals
Everything has been going well in the studio and Calum is doing a magnificent job with the production. Steve Vantsis has done brilliantly with the song preparation and his pre production work has made us ahead of the game despite the obvious intrusion caused by Heather's departure.
As I said I now want to immerse myself in the album in the coming weeks and try and put this entire incident behind me and get on with my life. I am eternally grateful for the support from my friends, family and particularly my daughter at this moment in time.
"your carnation will rot in a vase" 1985
Email May 30th 2007